Archive for noiembrie 2007


Oare e normal sa vreau ca soferii de autobuze si calatorii sa moara incet? E normal sa vreau sa-i doara? Sa-i doara tare, adica. E normal sa vreau strazi mai largi si edili mai responsabili? Masini mai putine si oameni mai putin inciudati? E normal sa vreau sa-i omor pentru ca se inghesuie, urla si-mi respira cu ura in ceafa? Cer prea mult cand spun ca nu mai vreau sa aud „Coborati la prima?”, „Mai sus, mai sus” sau „Doamna cu caciula gri, vrem si noi sa ajungem acasa”. E drept ca pot alege sa-mi pun castile pe urechi dar ii simt: viermi colcaitori, mereu gata sa-si verse frustrarile meschine asupra oricui s-ar afla in imediata lor apropiere. Cel mai tare ma supara ca devin irascibila, ca ziua mea incepe asa. Of, bygones…

A inceput Festival du Film Francais, am vazut azi Persepolis, mergeti sa radeti si sa plangeti. Daca vedeti unul din filmele de la Avanpremiera, adica: Persepolis, Hors de prix, Boarding Gate, Moliere, Les temoins, Un secret sau si votati, puteti castiga un bilet de avion pentru doua persoane la Paris.  Eu maine merg la Les temoins- Elvira Popescu.

In seara asta am terminat Blues pentru o pisica neagra de Vian. M-a atras titlul, de-aia am citit-o. Niste nuvele nebune, cu pisici vorbitoare, personaje stranii (in Calatoria la Khonostrov, patru personaje se decid sa-l cioparteasca pe al cincilea- care se afla intamplator in acelasi compartiment de tren- pentru ca refuza sa le vorbeasca), umor morbid si replici sugestive:

– Si cum este logodnica dumneavoastra?

Este frumoasa…zise Fidele. Are obrajii netezi ca porfirul lustruit, are ochii ca niste mari perle negre, parul roscat inchis, ridicat in cununa, un piept de marmura si are aerul de a fi izolata de restul lumii printr-un mic grilaj de fier forjat. (Soseaua pustie)

 Ce bine i-ar sedea lui Tarantino sa regizeze asa ceva. Cu ceva jazz pe fundal. Poate Dizzy Gillespie cum zice prezentarea. Sau Benny Goodman. Goody, Goody.



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De prin targ

Acum m-am intors de la targ si, in ciuda promisiunii de a nu mai cumpara nimic (am un maldar de carti care gem sa fie citite), n-am prea fost barbata. Cum sosisem la 3 jumatate, iar activitatea mea la standul Ambasadei Frantei incepea de-abia la 6, am avut timp berechet sa fiu incantata de o mie de carticele. N-am luat decat un Cehov, un Rilke si un Nabokov. N-am cheltuit prea multi bani, Cehovul si Rilke-le erau la 8 lei si asta e bine. Nu stiu, prefer sa nu mai cumpar si in acelasi timp sa mi le doresc, decat sa le vad cum stau in fata mea si sa nu le citesc. Mai sunt doua zile, probabil cu evenimente importante dar nu mai calc pe-acolo. Poate doar daca nu am nici un ban la mine. Nu stiu daca e vreo schimbare notabila de anul trecut, dar ceva sigur nu s-a schimbat: sistemul ala „infailibil” de sonorizare; vorbea, de exemplu, Patapievici la microfonul Humanitas si peste el, de la statia centrala sau whatever, un nene anunta nu stiu ce lansare de la nu stiu ce editura. E o porcarie. Iti trebuie multa putere de concentrare sa nu uiti ce vrei sa spui si mai ales sa nu te enervezi. In rest, destul de multi oameni ciudati la targ: vociferatorii si colectionarii de brosuri editoriale, aia care vad negru in fata ochilor daca nu au sacosa plina de hartie colorata ca, de! au fost si ei la targ.

Gata, ma duc sa rasfoiesc carticelele!

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Doare dorul…

 Ne place sa ne fie dor. Pentru ca tanjim dupa ceva. Si cand sufletul are tanguiri, e ca si cum ne-ar confirma ca avem un rost, ca nu traim o viata goala, ca nu suntem anosti.

De ce ne simtim nelinistiti atunci cand ne obisnuim cu dorul de cineva, o stare sau un lucru? De ce ne intristeaza absenta dorului, deprinderea cu el? Oare chiar trebuie sa ne doara (a-ti fi dor e o durere, orice s-ar spune), ca sa simtim ca suntem vii?

Dorul e o voluptate…

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Un articol mai vechi din The Chronicle:

Huckleberry Who?

The University of Paris literature professor Pierre Bayard’s best seller How to Talk About Books That You Haven’t Read is flying off the shelves in France. Not only does Bayard tell readers how to fake literary orgasm, but he admits to giving lectures on books he hasn’t bothered to read. I’m sure Bayard’s book will be met with outrage from many academics on this side of the Atlantic who lack the French national penchant for public display and intellectual pretension. Obviously, there is something seriously reprehensible about Bayard’s know-nothing chutzpah (or whatever the French word for that is). Our goal as teachers is to teach what we know, not what we don’t. But, outrage aside, perhaps it’s time to admit that not reading has its virtues as well as its vices.


An all too predictable moralism surrounds the reading of books. There is a prescribed way of reading: one page at a time, starting from the front of the book to the back, paying close attention to every single page in order, no skipping around. But the reality is that most of us graze — read a bit, put the book down, start up again. We may pay more attention to one part than another, skim boring parts, and even (heaven forfend) leap over long, dull tracts. Some very strange people even admit to reading the end of a book before the beginning, which is sort of like eating dessert before dinner.


But let’s remember that even one of the greatest readers of literature, Samuel Johnson, admitted that „Paradise Lost is one of the books which the reader admires and puts down, and forgets to take up again. None ever wished it longer than it is.” In fact, Johnson seemed to have made quite a career of not reading. He once lamented to his friend Mrs. Thrale, „Alas, Madam! How few books are there of which one can ever possibly arrive at the last page.” And reacting to advice that once started, a book should be read all the way through, he opined, „A book may be good for nothing; or there may be only one thing in it worth knowing; are we to read it all through?”


Is it always a good thing to read an entire book? When I was a graduate student, it dawned on me that I often had the most intelligent things to say about books I’d only half- or quarter-read. I was surprised by my observation — it didn’t seem to make sense. But it just seemed to work out that professors preferred my insightful and trenchant comments on, say, the first part of Tristram Shandy than on the whole wandering thing.


In that way, a little knowledge can be a practical thing.


Of course as teachers — particularly those of us who teach novels, poetry, and drama — we want our students to read the works we assign. Philosophically, we believe in educational standards. Practically, we find it boring to teach to a class of blank faces, students who fail to react to our insights or even jokes about literary characters and situations.


Most of us believe that there are a certain number of great works that define our national culture and our global literature. It is therefore a good thing that our students read those works in their entirety, know them, and remember them, so that we can have a common culture. E.D. Hirsch even published a book that told us what we should read in order to have a standard of „cultural literacy.” Any student who fails to read, or only half-reads, a great work is dodging his or her responsibility as a citizen. Or so the argument goes.


However, Bayard’s salvo can’t be entirely dismissed by our raising the banner of educational standards. After all, having once read a book isn’t the same as having recently read it. Lionel Trilling once famously told Edward Said that he thought the Columbia University humanities core, one of the early great-books curricula, „has the virtue of giving Columbia students a common basis in reading, and if they later forgot the books (as many always do) at least they would have forgotten the same ones.”


Most teachers can tell you that in any given class, there’s a bell curve of compliance in reading. The professor says hopefully, „I’m sure you all remember the chapter in which. … ” My working and charitable assumption is that half the class has read half the work. I even semi-seriously thought it might make sense to teach a course in the fall called „The First Half of Long Novels,” followed by the spring course „The Second Half of Long Novels.” The reality is that if you are a teacher, you will have to teach to the half-readers as well as to the ones who’ve finished every word. That students will read everything you assign is devoutly to be wished for but unlikely to happen.


Professors can’t afford to take a holier-than-thou position on this subject. After all, who watches the watchman? Have you really read all of War and Peace, or only Peace? Do you still remember it? All of it? Can I give you a pop quiz about your knowledge? And (be truthful!) isn’t it a vice rarely acknowledged that everyone occasionally nods „yes” when asked if they’ve read some major work — Ulysses, To the Lighthouse, Paradise Lost, or even Lord of the Rings — when in their own heart they know they didn’t really, or at least not all of it?


Reading habits, like sleeping habits, are individual and varied. I like to read four or five books at once. It’s like being at a horse race — only one or two of the books might win. I don’t feel committed to finishing every book I start, and, in a way, isn’t it the writer’s fault if I’m not pulled along? I’m an inveterate book buyer, but like many collectors I don’t always think the proof of the pudding is in the reading. I’ve got some beautiful volumes that I will probably never read. Do I really want to read all the books of Sir Walter Scott or von Krafft-Ebing? I just like owning them.


Not reading something also can be like saving a piece of pie for later. I’ve comforted myself by thinking that when I have a chronic and fatal illness, I’ll finally settle down and read the last five volumes of Proust. Or finish The Magic Mountain (which has a great start and then goes on and on). I’m really looking forward to reading The Man Without Qualities at some unspecified time in the future, preferably at the beach or in the mountains.


It’s the guilt and fear of not being well read, of having missed out on reading a work that everyone else has read that makes us shy about admitting our nonreading. Remember back when everyone was reading the same book at the same time — in my case it was The Alexandria Quartet, The Hobbit, The Greening of America, Amerika, or anything by Herman Hesse — and you weren’t? You felt so out of it, and then it was just too late. David Lodge has brilliantly captured that embarrassment in his novel Changing Places (which I’ve read … have you?), in which academics play a parlor game called Humiliation. In this game you have to admit to not having read a book that you think everyone else in the room has read. When a character admits to never having read Hamlet, he ends up garnering the scorn of all and eventually loses his job.


Perhaps we need a little less guilt and one-upmanship in this enterprise of reading. Let’s openly acknowledge that there are a library of ways to read, and that, being humans, we are somewhat prone to forgetting, imagining, delaying, and even not doing. If we were a little more open and honest about what we haven’t read, and if our colleagues were a little less judgmental and sanctimonious, we might loosen the harness of guilt that holds us back from actually picking up some book we’ve forsaken in the past. Who knows? Admitting that we don’t read might actually help us to read again.


Lennard J. Davis, who actually reads most of what he teaches, is a professor of English, disability and human development, and medical education at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

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Video amuzant de pe Youtube:

Si pozita haioasa de aici 


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– mi-e dor sa fac fotografii

– imi place ploaia (ca mai mereu)

– am pofta de bere (hopefully o sa mi-o ostoiesc diseara), ceea ce e ciudat pentru ca pana acum cateva luni toate papilele mele se razvrateau impotriva ei. Oricum, numai neagra, ca e mai dulceaga 🙂

– am chef sa mananc la restaurant (dar ramane pe sambata)

–  m-am trezit la 5 si m-am holbat pe pereti, incercand sa descifrez sensul existentei. Nu l-am bughit si m-am enervat. S-o releva doar insomniacilor veritabili.

– parca nu-mi ajung agendele si am vreo 5.

– as vrea sa stau cu dictionarul in fata si sa invat cuvinte noi.

– doresc sa-mi placa mai multi oameni pe strada. Ieri am remarcat o roscata simpatica cu pielea alba si o doamna care semana cu Principessa din „La Vita e Bella”. De ce nu si azi?

– sunt cu chef de duca si primul care-mi vine-n minte e muntele. Suspendata intre cer si pamant, as inceta sa ma grabesc. Slow down, you crazy child… Ce buna e Vienna uneori!


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Fara logica

Cand ar trebui sa ne simtim dezamagiti de nepetrecerea unui lucru (pe care de altfel, credeam ca-l dorim) si tot ceea ce simtim este un fel de usurare rusinoasa, asta inseamna ca nu ne-am dorit prea tare lucrul respectiv?

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Random de week-end


  • vineri seara am fost in sfarsit la Kilipirim si m-am ales cu: Fragmente dintr-un carnet gasit (M. Sebastian), Chipuri de oameni (G. Papini), Exuvii (Simona Popescu) si Corectii (J. Franzen). Am decis sa mai strang bani si pentru Gaudeamus. Pe drumul de intoarcere, in autobuz, m-am asezat langa un tip care, cand a vazut ca am scos Exuviile si citeam ce scria pe coperti si biografia, a inceput sa zambeasca si mi-a spus ca am facut o alegere foarte buna, ca doamna i-a fost profesoara la facultate, ca toti studentii o adorau. Am zambit si eu si am mai pus cateva intrebari despre ea, el imi raspundea si ne-am intors apoi fiecare la treburile noastre: el la muzica din casti, eu la rasfoit. Imi plac la nebunie intamplarile astea: oameni care isi zambesc unul altuia fara sa se cunoasca si totul porneste de la o carte.
  • am supravegheat un examen si am avut mai multe emotii decat candidatii. Duamneeeeee!
  • mi s-a spus ca arat ca un catel plouat si mi-era frig dar eram neastamparata. Nu stiu de ce. Note to self: the umbrella is my friend.
  • am reinceput sa citesc and i love it numa’ ca nu vreau s-o manii pe zana cartilor, asa ca astept sa vad ce se-ntampla.
  • I hate my DVD-Rom, it’s vicious and moody
  • am visat ciudatenii azi-noapte, cu gangsteri si impuscaturi, ca pe o harta de CS; lu’ frate-miu totusi nu i-ar fi placut, era si el pe-acolo.
  • trebuie sa-mi cumpar Sensi si cercei. Asa nu se mai poate!
  • am facut un maraton de Sex and the City cu vara-mea. Dupa obsesiile numite Amazing race, Grey’s Anatomy si Doamne-fereste, Gossip Girl, nu cred ca urmeaza decat Ally McBeal, desi inclin mai mult spre Felicity, dar nu gasesc de downloadat. Beware, we’re hungry for chick-related stuff. Somebody stop me! Im one step closer to becoming a Cosmo girl. Biacs!

Ma duc la cartea si muzica mea, nu neaparat in aceasta ordine, nu pot sa le fac pe amandoua in acelasi timp. 🙂

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Despre primejdia de a citi

Invinuiesc literatura de a falsifica viziunea vietii, de a pune termeni intermediari intre oameni si mine, de a rupe legatura directa pe care o caut cu fiecare ins. […] O invinuiesc, mai ales, de a fi dat nastere omului literar.
Numesc astfel un tip de om, construit in intregime din reminiscente livresti, retras intotdeauna in dosul unei lecturi, care il dispenseaza pe el sa actioneze, sa vorbeasca si sa existe pur si simplu. […] Caut o durere si gasesc o carte. Cer un suras si mi se da o metafora. Lovesc un om si imi raspunde un erou.

Este o corupere literara, ale carei ravagii le urmaresc in experienta mea zilnica, aproape de mine, in jur, ca pe un caz zilnic. Surprind cuvinte care vin din alta parte, decat din mintea omului care-mi vorbeste, restituiesc gesturi, identific atitudini, denunt false indemnuri. Literatura n-ar trebui sa fie decat un stimulent (adica o distractie). Sau un exercitiu. Iata insa ca ea devine un sistem de viata. Ceea ce suprima spontaneitatea momentului pe care il traim si incearca libertatea insului de a gandi dupa croiala corpului lui si de a merge dupa puterea pasului lui. Invinuiesc literatura de a face viata monotona.

Mihail Sebastian in Jurnal II. Jurnal indirect 1926-1945

Cand am citit asta, am facut imediat o asociatie cu ceea ce mi se intampla in copilarie. Stand mai mult in casa si citind, cand indrazneam sa ies pe-afara (mai mult de gura mamei), ceilalti copii ma priveau bizar. Eu taceam mai mult si ii observam. Asta ii nelinistea. Ii uram pentru neincrederea lor in mine dar vroiam sa fiu ca ei. Nu am invinuit niciodata cartile pentru mutismul meu. Oamenii din cartile mele vorbeau; mai mult, comunicau. Ma uram pe mine. Traiam in carti si-mi placea. Uitam de copii, jocurile si rasetele lor si ma inchideam in camera. Ma vroiam antisociala dar eram doar excesiv de timida. Nothing has changed really :)) Tind doar sa cred ca nu ma mai refugiez in carti.

Melodia zilei:  Nautilus Pompilius pentru ca mi-e dor.

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Uitasem cat de bine e sa stai cu Dilemateca in mana si cu ceaiul fierbinte langa. Bune si eclerul cu ness si CD-ul de „Jazz on cinema”. De ceva timp, n-am deloc chef sa citesc, sa ascult muzica, adica tocmai acele lucruri care imi fac in mod normal atat de multa placere. Azi insa am luat Dilemateca si am citit deja jumatate din ea. Placut partea cu fericirea gasita in carti, ar fi interesant de descoperit pe piata un manual de tipul „Happiness for dummies”.  Mi se pare totusi vulgar gandul ca unii chiar cred ca daca urmeaza cateva „prescriptii” vor fi mai fericiti. Unii oameni sunt posaci, tristi si deprimati, iar conceptul de fericire le este cu desavarsire obscur. Sau cel putin ce intelege majoritatea prin fericire. Si oricum, fericitii sunt scarbosi. Nu fac decat sa enerveze. Un om fericit n-are nimic sa-ti spuna, iti flutura doar motivele pentru care ranjeste ca un idiot toata ziua. Langa un deprimat, te simti parca mai cu folos, iti pui capacitatile empatice la bataie.

Misto si ancheta cu prima calatorie in strainatate, m-a facut sa ma gandesc la a mea, desi a trecut destul de mult timp (biacs, aproape un deceniu): 16 ani, Franta (La Roche-sur-Yon). Nu-mi amintesc sa fi fost foarte incantata, mi se parea ca mi se cuvine bursa si cand am ajuns acolo, mi se parea totul atat de „normal”, de comme il faut, ca nu mi-am ingaduit sa ma mir. Mi-aduc foarte bine aminte totusi ca (participand la cursuri ale clasei a 11-a, noi fiind a 10-a atunci), la o ora de latina, ni s-a spus ca pronuntam cuvintele cum vorbesc preotii lor in biserica. A fost amuzant si cand am fost urmariti de niste homosexuali (sau asta credeam noi) pe Pont Alexandre III. Mie mi-e mai dor acum de Moscova.

Am primit o carte frumoasa, de-abia astept s-o citesc, sper sa treaca perioada asta neagra de chefless de citit, de apatie generala cand ma urasc si nu stiu daca sunt vie sau doar haladuiesc pe aici,  am citit tot in Dilemateca despre una pe care o sa mi-o iau si o sa le fac recenzii amandurora. Promit! Imi promit. Si o sa ma uit la filme si o sa continuu cu voluntariatul si voi merge la ceai cu prietenele. Si o sa-mi cumpar ceva de imbracat. Si flori. Si soare mai mult, ca asta de acum. Si o sa mai ascult jazz, asta e clar.

Acum ma duc sa intind rufele si o sa plec sa pun niste carti la locul lor intr-o biblioteca franceza.

Site-ul zilei e plin de chestii pentru scriitori: Cool Stuff for Real Writers

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